It is mid-week, my husband and I are out for dinner. This is not a typical mid-week meal. It was a night out together to try to smooth out the rough edges of a tough day. I knew it would not be glamorous or elegant yet anytime with my beloved is special. It was unplanned, plans altered, and moods low. It was an attempt to bring comfort to a bad day.
We arrived at the the restaurant, one we do not frequent too often. Indeed this was turning out to be a pre-Valentine's Day evening. We were surprised how busy it was as we were handed our pager for a 25-30 minute for a table. No problem, we were not pressed for time. We found a spot to wait for our table.
In less time than expected, our table became available. We were handed menus and instructed our server would be with us shortly. We poured over the menus, discussed our options, made decisions, chatted, and ... waited. Observation indicated tables around us had servers giving them attention. We were still waiting for anyone to notice we were there withering away in hunger.
We now have a choice in our behavior. We were about to become very unhappy customers. Hubby was not in a terribly patient mood following his less than pleasant day. This outing was to offer a respite from 'problems'. Looking around perplexed and offering body language of 'what's up?' did not change our situation. It was time to approach staff, my husband chose to find one who most looked like a manager.
The the problem identified, a new server unaware our table was her responsibility. Ahhhh... no problem, we are happy to have a server. We were treated with extra care, given an appetizer, and checked on regularly, perhaps too frequently. Our server? She was nervous to serve irritated guests and to have her failure to understand the table chart made aware to not only to the customer but her boss as well. The apologies from both she and the manager were sincere and plentiful. She was also very attentive and sweet.
As our meal progressed, I tried to reassure our novice server that all is well in our world. I could not help but notice that she couldn't relax. I am not sure she was relaxed in her job all evening as it was only day two for her. And then there is my hubby who has an aura of intimidation which he does not apologize for at all. (To those who know and love him, he's really a softy.) We continued to offer grace and encouragement as she did her best to make our experience pleasant. She succeeded with novice skill.
During our evening we had a choice: anger or grace. We had a right to be irritated and perhaps even angry. The restaurant was failing in their responsibility to costumer care. They had two hungry customers not receiving attention. With diplomacy in alerting them to our situation, we heard the source of the failure, an apology, and resolution. We then had the opportunity to give grace to an embarrassed, stressed novice employee or to be irritated and sour.
I am so glad we gave her grace. This young gal is not much older than my own daughters, it was easy for me to envision them in the same position. I treated her as I would want anyone to treat my own precious girls. She is a new employee, a novice, with good intentions to perform well. Anger would not have benefited this young lady. Perhaps anger was merited but it was our choice to give grace. Anger would have ruined not only our young server's evening but our evening as well. Grace allowed for space to learn and enjoy the evening.
Grace: it allowed for an evening to connect as a couple. We enjoyed our meal as we discussed the day's events.
Grace: it gave space for the rough edges of the day to smooth out.
Grace: it allowed a young person to grow and learn.
It is not always easy to choose grace, especially on an empty stomach and blood sugar levels dropping or in a stressful situation. But I am learning it usually proves beneficial in most situations.
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