For This Child I Prayed

For this child I prayed.

Yes, I am guilty of this statement.  I desired to be a parent and I prayed for a baby.  A baby  of my own, made of mine and my husbands DNA, grown in my own womb.  A child  and then another, that would share similar traits of looks and personality as us, their parents.  For this I prayed.

What I didn't realize is that I prayed for:

Pregnancy and all it entails:  morning sickness, compressed bladder, pressed lungs making it hard to breathe, kicked ribs, insomnia, morning sickness, discomfort in any position, fatigue.  Where was the glow of pregnancy, the delight in my growing belly?  Both pregnancies, my third trimester in the hot summer months in an old house lacking the ability to have central air conditioning.  I prayed for September babies?  I prayed for the third most humid summer on record (at that time) during this pregnancy of my first baby?

Labor and Delivery:  I prayed for the experience of 'natural' child birth.  Yeah, NO - thank you for the pain killers in child #1.  Child #2 came so quickly, it was all natural. Yes, for this I prayed.  I prayed for the drive to the hospital in the wee hours to have a car drive at us head-on, and arrive to the emergency room driveway filled with police cars and one car full of bullet holes?    The pain and discomfort of bringing a new person into the world.  Once one is pregnant, there really is no way out of this experience if baby is carried to full-term birth.  I prayed for labor and delivery, what was I thinking??

Now let's get serious, I prayed for a child and then another.  I prayed for the opportunity to be a mother, to snuggle in the wonder 'baby' smell, to hold a sleepy infant, to play blocks with a toddler, to inspire an adolescent, to mentor a young adult entering the world.  I really had NO idea what I was praying.

I instead got a smelly baby prone to spitting up all over me.  I paced the floors with an unsettled, not sleeping infant.  Oh, yes we played blocks but spent more time in will battles about what can and cannot be done.  And, indeed I inspired an adolescent to behave or else!  Mentoring a young adult?  No one told me she wouldn't care for my wisdom at this stage in her life.  I prayed for a child with common DNA, what was I expecting of a child of two independent minded parents?   Experienced parents can start chortling and busing a gut in laughter here.

I prayed for a different body shape, forever changed.  I prayed for the now mis-aligned teeth from a head bang of a toddler.  I prayed for terror as I watch my daughter receive a concussion on the sledding hill.  I prayed with grief as my children were mis-treated and overlooked.  I prayed for tears that flow at the amazement of these people in my life.

I did not realize I actually prayed for the opportunity to grow my personal prayer life.

I prayed for sleep during the sleepless nights with a infant with her days and nights mixed up.
I prayed over sick baby struggling for to breathe with a case RSV.
I prayed for the screaming toddler stop throwing tantrums.
I prayed desperately for baby doll and blanket to be found.
I prayed for success in potty training for a long time.
I prayed for fast end to long road trips.
I prayed that I would maintain some sort of control as this child is much more like me and sometimes like Dad than I prefer.
I prayed for nap time, bed time, and Daddy to hurry up and come home.
I pray for patience and then more patience.  And then even more patience.
I pray for friendships and the hurts when these friends caused deep pain
I prayed for the tearful child not selected for the prize role (how was this talent missed?)
I prayed for our lives through driving lessons, truly life and death scenarios.
I prayed for academic lessons to be learned.
I pray for safety, health, love, protection,
I pray adequacy in this role of parenting.
I pray for time to slow down to try to capture some of these moments.
I pray for wisdom in raising this child, it is such a huge responsibility!
I pray for the child on her own in college.
I pray for those difficult teenage years.
I pray for the ability to let go

Yes, for this child I prayed.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  My life is much richer with these precious gifts from God.  I cherish each and every prayer lesson.  I had no idea that these little people entrusted to me would teach me so much about my faith in God and the value and gift of prayer.